Since Merrym brought up the subject of jealousy, I thought I would continue on that subject for today. I agree with Merrym that she has always had a problem with jealousy. When she was younger I believe it was a matter of being the youngest of seven children and being very spoiled. Everyone made a fuss over her. She was bright and always the center of attention. When she wasn't the center of attention, she didn't like it.
As Merrym got older she would do anything to be the center of attention. As a teenager she bought purple high-top tennis shoes just to be different (Recently I just bought her a pair of purple tennis shoes). She dressed differently, wore her hair and make-up to get attention. In college she was in theatre arts, worked very hard, was competitive and of course loved the attention. But the jealousy hung on and ate at her.
Since Merrym became disabled, jealousy has almost taken her over completely. Many times she has been very miserable not due to her illness, but due to her jealousy. It has even caused her more illness. I know it has to be horrible to see others doing all the things you used to do and still want to do. But what has been scary, is that there have been times when Merrym has truly hated someone because she was so jealous of them. Some of the people she has hated are people she also loved, but the jealousy and hatred almost overtook the love. There have been times when I couldn't reason with her over her jealous feelings.
I am happy to say that Merrym truly is working on her jealousy issues. I have seen the improvement. She has apologized to people also. Some of the ones she has asked forgiveness of never realized how Merrym felt. It is not easy for Merrym, but with God's help she is making it.
Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. "They have credited David with tens of thousands," he thought, " but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?" And from that time on, Saul kept a jealous eye on David.
I Samuel 18:8
Love, Mother Hen Glory
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