It's A Hard Knock Life

Mer has never had it easy in any way or form. Her life has been one big struggle after another. Oh sure, there are many days she has conflicts with her bitter side. But she CHOOSES to have more days where she takes God's hand and says walk with me, lift me, carry me.

Mer, as you most likely know by now, was the last born of seven siblings. Yes, there were times you might say she was babied, but not spoiled. There wasn't much to spoil her with. We were, as they say 'dirt poor'. Our parents gave every thing they had to keep food on the table and clothes on our backs.

Mom and Dad 'finally' divorced after 25 years of treading water in the drowning saga they called a marriage. I know this may sound cruel but, I was soooo relieved when my Mom took us last three kids and literally, marched off that New Mexico farm! Mom and Dad were definitely no 'match made in heaven'!

After living through this part of our horribly dis-functional family life and not knowing as young women of that time era (late 60s-early 70s) how a man should treat a woman or when and how to stand up to a man, we became very confused. Most of our older siblings were married by now and in difficult relationships of their own.

We also had no idea how parents should really behave. We didn't respect our parents, we feared them. We'd seen Dad beat Mom; Dad beat each of us; Brothers abuse sisters; and on and on. We'd lived through a devastating fire. Our brother Robert survived a horrid car accident, it all seemed so unending. But we seemed to suck it all up and move forward, not really knowing the damage these events had taken on our souls. Yes, we did go to Church on a regular basis, thank God for that foundation in our lives!

Once Mom was on her own, she went a little overboard with the men. Her judgement was skewed, so the men she did allow in to our lives were seriously sad examples and pedifiles. She had a hard time knowing where to draw the line between discipline and down right beatings. Because of these issues Mer and I finally (THANK YOU JESUS!) ended up in a foster home. I was 16, and Mer came along later, I think around the time she was 13. Dad was no where to be found, although that's how we preferred it too.

Mer and I were actually wonderful, sweet, loving, good girls, all be it, very confused, scared and with very little self esteem or self worth. At this point Mer became very depressed and tried to commit suicide. My boy friend and I found her and rushed her to Valley General. My foster Mom was so angry that she couldn't bring herself to visit Mer. I must say though, our foster parents, Dorothy Duddy and Ronald Sternod, were absolutely wonderful examples and we thank them for there sacrifices.

Mer graduated at 17 and left home to live with our brother Robert for a short time and then moved to Utah to live with the Note-Worthy 'Mother Hen'


"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look whole heartedly you will find me."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Love You Mer