Wisdom of Youth

As I became more aware of things in the hospital, after my amputation, my 17 year old daughter, Courtney, told me she was pregnant. She said she had waited until I was in a hospital bed, so I couldn't chase her down and kick her butt (literally). The thing is I already knew from all the clues that she'd left or hadn't left around our house. For example, she was five months along and it showed, but I decided to let her tell me in her own time. After all, I thought that if she felt she was mature enough to make a baby, she should definitely be mature enough to face me like an adult and tell me the news. When I found this out I vowed to give her minimal help, so she would learn to be a good mother.

Four months after I came home from the hospital, we brought my gorgeous grand-daughter, Brittanie, home too. At that time I was still battling depression and using my painkillers to escape into that ever comforting, yet time thief, medicinal-oblivion.

One day during one of my tiny windows of clear thinking, Courtney grabbed the opportunity to say, "Mom, I understand Brittanie is my responsibility, but we need you! I have questions for you to answer and Brittanie needs her grandmother! When you take your medicine you space out or just pass out. You're missing her growing and changing. This is heartbreaking to me because we have had so many close calls with you and I want all of us to have awesome memories of this time in her life. But most of all I want your grand-daughter to know you! Please stop taking so much medicine!!"

At that moment I made the choice that I'd rather be in pain, no matter how excoriating, and be conscious of the lives surrounding me. I chose to live my life, rather than sleep it away and miss everything.

I have had some incidents, which I will talk about in up-coming blogs, but to this day I take the minimal amount of painkillers to get by. I'm never out of pain, but I'm enjoying my awesome family and friends. Thank you God and Courtney for those awesome words of wisdom!

Is not Wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?

Job 12:12

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce