The Gift (continued IX)

We walked through the automatic doors into the ICU where a large nurses station sat to our right and the large glass cubicles to our left. Mer's was the very first one.

We stood in the corridor area with three nurses and the ICU Dr., listening very intently to his orders for Mer's day. She was doing so much better, but moving her from ICU was still not an option.

When the Dr. was done giving orders he asked if Courtney or I had any questions. I asked how her kidneys might be affected from now on. He was optimistic since they were back to 'normal' function at this time. Court asked if they were going to put Mer back in a nursing home when she left the hospital. This was always Mer's biggest nightmare. The Dr. told her that was too far down the road to discuss.

We then split up, the staff went about their duties, Courtney left the ICU to make a call or something and I went into Merrym's stark white existence.

There she was lying on the stiff, bleak hospital bed. Her hair had been bleached out to a platinum blonde, which washed her pale face out all the more. I don't know where her glasses were but she had this tiny sci-fi looking TV apparatus smack dab in her face so she could see it.

She smiled as big as her overtired face would allow her. I walked up to the head of her bed hugged her as tightly as I could and kissed her head, faking a smile, as I stuffed back the tears.

Trying to speak to me was very frustrating, as nothing, not even a whisper would come out. Her voice box had been severely damaged from her yanking the respirator out. Now they didn't trust her at all even though she didn't need it anymore. They had her hands bound tightly to each side of the bed. This saddened me, but then again her safety was my first concern.

She continued to try and tell me something, mouthing one word over and over, but ever since her stroke her lips didn't quite move the same. I just couldn't read her lips, so I told her to finger spell it in sign language. This didn't do any good either, the restraints got in the way. So, we played the guessing game.

Me, "You want something?"
Mer nodded, "Yes."
Me, "Potty?"
Mer shook her head, "No."
Me, "Eat? You want to eat?"
Mer mouthed, "NO!"
Me, "The nurse? You need the nurse?"
Mer mouthed harder."NO!!"
I laughed out of pure frustration for the both of us.
"Mer." I said, "I'm sorry I'm a total geek, I just don't get what it is you want."
I chatted her up for a few more minutes when a nurse appeared and said, "Times up, sorry she needs to rest."

I hugged her, kissed her cheek and told her someone else would be in later to see her.Then walked slowly out of her starkness.

So the King asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of the heart."
Nehemiah 2:2

Love You Mer