Mer's Visit to the Little House

I was allowed to visit Ace once a week, on the weekends. But the facility Ace got placed in was 50 miles from my house. I had a problem, I can't drive! How was I to get there? I used every source available to me: family, friends and members of my church. I spent at least 20 dollars (sometimes more) a week of my tiny budget to see him and I never missed a visit.

* SIDE NOTE- T J never visited Ace, his one and only son, once while he was incarcerated.

On my first visit they took me to a tiny room with furniture scrunched in it so tight my wheelchair barely made it through the door. As Ace entered the room his happiness to see me was etched across his face. We made small talk for a few minutes. Then his eyes became an angry red, as a hot poker and he said,"Why Mom?! Why did you do this to me?!" I snapped back,"I didn't do anything to you! You did this to yourself! Your the one who chose to commit grand-theft-auto and take a 15 year old girl across state lines, which is considered kidnapping at the ripe old age of 17! Your just lucky her mom didn't press charges or you'd be the recipient of an adult sentence in big time lock-up!"

He was quiet for a while and I could see him mulling this over. I broke the silence with, "Now, next weekend you get a four hour pass, IF you follow house rules. So obey!"

When I left the staff informed me that I could bring him some personal hygiene products, because the ones there were very harsh.

When I picked him up for his outing we went to a nearby mall and at the food court I got him food from each restaurant. He ate everything we ordered, after all he was eating horrid institution 'food'???

As he ate he told me about his roommate, who's mother was dead and father was in prison. I cried for five days for his friend, who had no one to visit or who cared about him. Then God said, "You are so wrong Merrym, I care!!!!!!! That's why I'm sharing you with him!" Thinking of all my other responsibilities, my thoughts and words jumbled as I reluctantly accepted this great honor...

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

Psalm 68:5

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Mom Lays Down The Law

Before Ace's dad went to get him from Georgia, I had contacted our local police to let them know Ace was on the way back. They thanked me and told me as soon as he got in town he was to be turned into their custody. Ace's dad didn't like that, but I said, "Oh well! It's too late to change what he's done. "

When I visited Ace after his return the counselors at that lock-up asked me to bring his dad in too, this way we could have a 'family meeting'. I had to beg and plead to get his dad (The Jerk/ T J) there. When we arrived, T J put on the biggest act of 'having it all together', I'd ever seen and the counselors fell for it. They talked only to him and ignored me like I wasn't even there, which upset me, because I was the custodial parent and the sane one. They told T J Ace needed some dress clothes for court, which was in two days. T J said, "But Ace doesn't have any good clothes." The answer he received was, "Get some!" and they exited the room.

Now Ace's dad had a job and money on him, but said I needed to buy the clothes. I did! Remember I get an allotted amount of money from SSI. Well, my child was in need and I knew Ace's father would never spend a cent on him, no matter how dire the situation. After we went to the mall and got the clothes, I was exhausted. So when we went to drop them off I stayed in the car and sent T J in. Come to find out T J took all the credit for shopping and buying the clothes. He also told Ace he'd see him in court the next day.

The next morning I woke early, got ready for court, rode three buses, pushed myself five blocks to get there and made it with time to spare. During my excruciatingly, long, 15 minute wait, I fidgeted and looked for T J, who was a no show.

They finally called Ace's court-case. Still no T J! I was furious! As I wheeled into a spot next to the defendant's table, I saw someone shuffling towards me, every mother's worst nightmare! It was my baby boy in shackles! He hugged me the best he could with angst in his eyes and said. "Where's Dad?" "I don't know honey?!" I answered. His countenance immediately changed from hope to sadness and my heart broke for him. See why I call my kid's dad 'The Jerk'?

The proceedings went along quite well. Then the judge turned to me and said, "You poor woman! You've obviously been through enough. I'll just send Asab home with you." Relief flooded Ace's face, but I was totally shocked! I rose my hand and said. "Your honor, please don't do that! My child needs to deal with the consequences to his actions or he'll never learn to be a good human being. Give him the sentence he deserves." The whole courtroom went silent and stared at the judge, except for Ace's piercing eyes of anger, which were slicing right through me. The judge said "Ma'am, You are a truly good mother. Most people would have taken their kid and run after a ruling like that. But you obviously care deeply for your son. Asab, I sentence you to youth prison for six months, if your mother agrees?" I shook my head up and down without making a sound, for fear of sobbing uncontrollably...

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Mom's Not As Dumb As You Think!

During the period of time I was going through my senior year of college, the kids were in their teens. As most parents will agree these are the most difficult years for us all. I didn't always choose the right disciplinary measures, but I tried to be the best parent I could. I read my Bible and took to heart God's words for parenting. Here's some examples:

Courtney was running with the wrong crowd and ended up helping a friend run away from home. The night she did this, I had been working at the Boys and Girls club. I first heard about this girl disappearance when I was bombarded at the door of my house by the police. They asked, "Are you harboring a runaway?" My answer was a firm "NO!" They asked to search my house and of course I granted them permission. I was a little upset that they didn't believe me, but quickly got over it.

Then my psychology education kicked in and I began observing Courtney. I started seeing a pattern: she got up earlier than usual; went to another friends house whom I wasn't fond of and stayed there until it was time for school; as soon as school was over she'd head right back to that house, staying there as late as she could (I had to call her and demand she come home). After a week of this behavior I knew what was going on and where her missing friend was at. I had the police come over early one morning, I woke her up and said, "I know where Sally (not real name) is. Now you have a choice. Either you take these officers there or I do." My daughter immediately complied and took them to Sally. This sent a two fold message of: Mom's not as dumb as you think; plus, her friends saw her as a Narc and dropped her like a hot potato. Yeah!

Ace had his problems also. He had many run-ins with the police, almost on a weekly basis. He ended up in lock-up many times. Of course I was worried. I thought his dad needed to step in, so I allowed Ace to move in with dad and he visited me once in a while. One day I got a call from the police asking, "Do you know where Ace is? He's disappeared with his grandfather's truck and his girlfriend." Again my answer was a firm, "NO!"

The police and Ace's dad were stumped. I knew I had to do something, so I started calling everyone of Ace's friends. I found his trail (Me, the disabled women in a wheelchair) all the way across the United States to Georgia. I found out the phone number of the house he was at, called it and told him, "Keep your happy little butt at that address!" Then I called the Georgia police and said, "Please go pick up my son and hold him until I can figure out how to get him back to Utah. He has committed grand-theft-auto and is involved in kidnapping his girlfriend." They did and a week later I sent his dad to pick him up...

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Save the Best for Last

When I graduated with my 'Bachelors in Psychology' from college on December 13, 2002, I chose to walk to get my diploma. My thoughts were; I struggled and worked my butt off for six very, long, difficult, years to make it this far, I deserved to walk!

Now at that time, I could walk with a walker, but how would I hold my diploma? So I devised a plan; I could walk exceptionally well if someone would act like my crutch, I'd have one of my children help me.

Which one would it be? Well, three years earlier, when I got my associates degree my daughter, Courtney had helped me walk to receive that honor. So I'd ask my son, Ace, to walk me this time. He agreed. I thought I was ready, until the school found out what I wanted to do. They balked at the idea for safety reasons, so I set out to remove that obstacle.

I had to write a formal letter to the president of the college, who knew me personally, asking permission; go through a long process with the disabilities department where Ace and I had to prove I'd be safe; agree to go to one end of the platform in my wheelchair, get up, walk only as far as the platform, immediately sit back down to go through the line of congratulating professors; and most importantly, not rush. That's all I wanted anyway, so I happily agreed. Oh ya! I had to be the last person in my field to cross the stage, this way I could take my time.

The building they held the ceremony in is a big domed sports arena. Since it was winter semester the amount of graduates and their families was small enough to fit in the arena all together. We would just graduate in turn by the alphabetizing of majors. We would wait for our field of expertise to be called, line up and cross the platform as our name was said.

All the other students sat in the bleachers, but Ace and I had to sit on the floor in the back row of hundreds of teachers. It seemed like forever before the Psychology department was called.

As the other students took their turn walking I noticed a pattern; a name was called, that individual walked, while their friends and family cheered from the stadium (just a tiny area rooted at a time).

Finally after all the other graduates had proudly accepted their diplomas, they called Merrym Dawn Bruce. I anxiously stood, grabbed Ace for support, and walked in a surreal state of mind across the intended area. My friends and family happily burst into cheers, then it was quiet for a second. SUDDENLY others joined in with screams of congrats and applause, rising to a fevered pitch, ending in a standing ovation. Blowing kisses to everyone over-and-over I stood there with an awestruck grin on my face. Nothing could wipe that look off my face or that feeling from my soul.

When Ace and I got back to our spot to wait for the ceremony to end, he said, "Mom, God told me to tell you this. What you just experienced is similar to what will happen when you get to heaven. There will be one difference though, the crowd, cheers and applause will be hundreds of times more."

I sat there in silence while streams of jubilant tears streaked my face and once again I thanked God for being mine!

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure.

Matthew 13:44

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Steadfastness

During the time Merrym was going to college, she was very happy. It was one of the best periods of her disabled life. I think if Merrym were allowed, she would have been a "professional student". It gave her a sense of accomplishment and built her self-esteem. No matter what the assignment, she never complained.

Merrym would call me, excited about an assignment she had. All I could think was, "How will she ever be able to do this?" I was thinking about my college classes and they were not easy. I couldn't imagine Merrym doing all that work, but she seemed to flourish.

Merrym never went into any class expecting to get an A. She went into the class knowing that she would do her best and she would accept the grade that she earned. She didn't try to get special favor on any assignment. Yes, she needed help with note taking, but that was all she asked for. If she needed any other help, she sought it out. She was never afraid to ask professors to better explain things. She treated the professors like friends and did not put them on a pedestal.

Merrym had amazing stamina and has proved she can do anything in spite of her disability. Even when she got sick, she would get her assignments done on time. What was amazing was that she always went the extra mile, helping her professors and other students when needed.

If you ever think you can't get through a problem or task, just think about Merrym. Not only that, call her, or facebook her and she will encourage you.

My heart is steadfast, God, my heart is steadfast.

Psalm 57:7

Love, Mother Hen Glory

Mer Gives Them A Lesson They'll Never Forget!

Today is technical, but I want to describe each of the five stations in my class and what they simulated. Bear with me and you'll see the awesome affect it had on the kids. At each station was an adult to explain to the kids what to do and how it simulated a disability.

*(What was simulated.)

As each child took their turn at individual stations the person in charge of this area would explain what they were to do;

Station #1-Hearing-*(Deafness/Hearing Loss)

There were earplugs that the kids were to put in their ears. They were to try to hear people speak at different levels and tones of volume.

Station #2-Speech-*(Speech Impediment/Verbal Communication Loss)

They were to put five pieces of bubble gum in their mouths, chew for a few minutes and then try to say different prepared sentences. I made sure there were quite a few to pick from and that each word could sound similar to another. They were to try and get their group to understand them.

Station #3-Sight-*(Blindness/Vision Loss)

They put blindfolds and sunglasses with Vaseline on them. We gave them a blind walking cane or a guide and had them go through an obstacle course, doing daily chores.

Station # 4-Walker/Crutches-*(Difficulty walking)

We tied their legs together, gave them a walker or crutches and they were to make it through a obstacle course similar to a daily routine. But we added opening and making it through a heavy gym door.

Station #5-*(Wheelchair Bound) Since I had experience in this area I was in charge of this station and I explained they were going to go through some of what I go through daily. This one was a bit more important to me, because I felt they might understand where I was coming from.

They were put in a wheelchair and big work gloves were applied to their hands (this was to dull sensation and fine motor skills). They then had to grab a book-bag, put five different size and shape books in it, three pencils and zip it up. They had to make it through an obstacle course of; desks, long halls, heavy doors and sidewalks, with the book bag in tow.

When every student had a chance to experience everything, we gathered back together to talk about what and how they accomplished these goals, also the impact, if any, this had made on them.

The walls between everyone were let down for a while that day. It was amazing, every child (even the very shy ones) commented. Examples being:

I never realized how much more effort it takes a disabled person just to do daily chores.

I've always thought why can't disabled people just deal with life without help, but now I know how tough their lives are. Anytime I see anyone disabled or not that needs help, I'm going to offer it.

Thank you for allowing us to experience this. Now I can understand and sympathize with disabled people.

AND the ultimate compliment said more than once;

My favorite station was the wheelchair one, because now we know what and how you sacrifice for us. Thank you!

As they said this tears of joy and acceptance ran down my face. Trying to stop the floodgates from pouring forth I challenged anyone to a wheelchair race and every hand in the gym went up. Even my three professors volunteered for this and the next day each of them congratulated me on a A+ job, saying, "You bridged a gap with your class. I'm proud to say I was a tiny bit of what happened and was there to see it unfold".

You did not choose me, I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last.

John 15:16

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

'Understanding Disabilities' 101 - Day of Reckoning

I planned what I wanted to happen for what seemed like forever. I even came to The Boy's and Girl's Club an hour earlier than I already had been, so I could call hospitals, supply stores and groceries stores for donations. I finagled walkers, wheelchairs, Vaseline, earplugs and chewing gum for our special day.

We had been telling the kids we had something special planned for that day. We wanted as many kids to come as possible and told them to invite friends. That day there were more children at the club than I had ever seen. I was thrilled and a bit nervous. I mean there sat my three professors on the front bleacher!

The children listened intently to me explain that everyone is just temporarily able-bodied, that we all eventually become disabled and they were going to find out what it might feel like today. I went on to let them know there were five stations with a goal and reward for each of them, just for trying.

We split the kids into five equal groups. The room had an air of excitement in it and they were off...

In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness.

Titus 2:7

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

'Understanding Disablities' Class 101

As I stated previously, one of my assignments while I volunteered at The Boy's and Girl's Club was to teach a class of my choosing. Choosing was not so hard. I've always said, "I wish people could get a glimpse into what it's like to be disabled, then they'd be more understanding." Guess what? The topic of my class was 'Understanding Disabilities'.

I wanted each child to experience what the disabled/different-abled go through every day. So on my off time from studying for classes and volunteering, I went to work planning a whole 'Club' day, where they each would undergo a tiny bit of disabled living. I needed it to be very real and as interactive as possible,this way the kids would feel the emotional and physical challenges that face disabled/different-abled community every day.

When I told the professor in charge my idea she was intrigued. She told me she would come and bring the two other professors who had interviewed me for this position. My senior project was an experiment between college and this community. The Psychology department had never done anything like this before. But this was a way they could see what they had put into motion and be able to critic it.

I asked the sight managers permission for the use of the whole gym and if his staff would be willing to help out. He agreed. I was so excited! The stage was set...

I also saw under the sun this example of wisdom that greatly impressed me:

Ecclesiastes 9:13

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

The Gang's All Here! ... What The Heck Do I Care?!

As you read earlier the Boys and Girls club that I volunteered at was in a junior high school with lots of gang activity. The gang from this school came to our club and of course they brought with them their 'Gang-Mentality'. This being; we run this school, everyone does what we say, everyone better be afraid of us, even the adults.

I observed this haughty manner for a while and they had it right! Everyone was scared of them. After all each one of them had been suspended at one time or another for disobeying, fighting or bringing a weapon to school (these had even been used on intended targets).

Thank God for my psychological background! From which I had learned how to deal with this attitude, but now was the time to put it into action.

One particular day, the gang and it's leader began bullying another student. I rolled into the middle of the incident, pointed my finger directly in the leader's face and said, "Knock your crap off! Your just a big bully! Get off school property! NOW!" A little shocked that anyone, let alone me in my wheelchair, stood up to him, he said, "I'm leaving, but WATCH YOUR BACK!" This did NOT scare me, it made me very angry. Responding firmly , yet in a calm tone I said, "You don't scare me. I've faced death and I live in Hell. Just look at the body I'm trapped in. Now go home!" Stunned he turned, gathered the other members and left.

The next day the gang members swaggered ever so coolly over to me. The leader said,"Merrym, we got your back!"(their version of an apology). Then they turned and politely began playing basketball.

After that any time they were doing something I considered wrong, I would just get their attention, shake my head slightly and they would quickly stop.

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

It's OK To Be Me!!!

The advisor for my senior project was a professor, who only knew me by reputation, but when we met there was an immediate bond. She and I planned the requirements I needed to fulfill to pass, before I was to start volunteering. I was to spend 1 and 1/2 hours, three days a week, at the club. I was assigned to help in any form needed, and to teach a class about anything of my choosing.

On my first day everyone involved was extremely tentative. I was just trying to figure the program out, the site manager had no idea what I should or could do, the kids were unsure of anyone they didn't know or trust, then add my disability and slurred speech. Mix this all together and the end product, uncertainty.

It took about two weeks of observation for me to fall in love with these awesome children, but it was not that easy for them, even to talk to me. I knew from my study of psychology that if I wanted to be accepted I was going to have to do more than my class required. Without really thinking about it I raised my required four and a half hours a week to being there any time I had available, which was from the opening of the door to the closing of the door.

When the kids saw my commitment to them, the walls they had built very slowly started to fade, but the walls were still there, at the ready to slam back in place if they felt the need arise. This made an air of nervous strain.

The signal that I was totally accepted came when the staff decided to have a slumber party for the girls. There were two female staff members which were required to be there, but they needed one more adult to help keep the girls under control. I volunteered knowing I would not get any sleep, but the girls fun was more important to me.

We played the usual games, pigged out and had a blast acting silly. At about 11:00 p.m. girls started dropping like flies. The other adults were exhausted too, so I told them I would take the 'Night-Watch', they could go to sleep and not worry about things. I had it under control. Reluctant, but tired they agreed.

While most of the girls snoozed, ten girls and I stayed awake. We played truth or dare, and told ghost stories. After we finished that, my butt was hurting, so I moved to a lounge chair. I explained to the girls this was to relieve pressure on certain spots so I wouldn't get sores.

One of the girls asked to try my wheelchair, I saw no harm in it, so I said,"Yes!" She rolled around the room forward a bit, then a spark came to her eyes, turned around and went backwards saying,"Look I'm Merrym!" The other girls gasped in shock and surprise, waiting for my reaction. Pleasantly, complimented I gave her my Cheshire grin and robust chuckle. Immediately the other girl's tension disappeared and they ran to my wheelchair saying, "I get to be Merrym next!"

This proved to me that my example was not going unnoticed. I was showing them it is OK to be who God made you.

In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In teaching show integrity.

Titus 2:7

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Let Mer Show You The Way

Another college class that made an impact on me was my senior project. There were many different things to choose from, but only one appealed to me. The project was to volunteer in our community, tutoring children.

There were quite a few places to pick from, if you were able-bodied (because of changing levels in buildings without elevators), but God had a plan for me. Lucky Me! Only one project was available for me to volunteer at and it was a very involved one. It was helping 'At Risk' kids deal with school, family problems and peer pressure. Its location being at the Boys and Girls club in an intercity school where there was a lot of gang activity.

It had a long application process because it was a very exclusive program. You had to have a extensive background check, be interviewed by three different professors and if you passed their grilling question & answer session, then it was the sight manager's turn to have a swing at you. You had to really want it. I did! Remember, me + children = happiness!

All the interviews went quite well, but the big question that came up each and every time was; What can you, a disabled person bring to this program that it doesn't already have?

The answer simple, as you might think, came quickly, "Perseverance! I want to show that you can do any thing you set your mind to. No matter the obstacles you need to overcome!"

Hallelujah! I was accepted to the program...

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

James 1:12

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Growth in the Ranks

As I read Merrym's last few entries, I couldn't help but see the spiritual growth in my sister. She now turns to God in every instance and has learned to see the positive, not the negative. She also finds every opportunity to share God's love with her family and with others. I love the way she was comforting her son and his family. There was a day when we were the ones trying to comfort her and point out the positive.

I can see that Merrym has came to grips with her disability. Does this mean that she will never say "Why Me?" again. Absolutely not, but she has grown to the point she is not as self-centered, but is others-centered.

I am also proud of Asab, who took on the responsibility of taking his mother on vacation. He could have said, "I have Michelle and my two sons to take care of, Mom will just put a damper on our trip." Instead, he started several months ahead getting Merrym excited about going on a real vacation. He kept her excited about the trip, by involving her in the on-going progress of planning, until the time came for the trip. I feel that as I am getting older and it is harder for me to take care of Merrrym, Asab has grown into a young man, willing to take care of his mom.

I also appreciate Michelle. She could be the kind of person, who would not want to take an extra person on their trip or be embarrassed by Merrym's disability, but instead she has accepted Merrym, as though she were her own mother.

God, you are so good. I know when I am not able to take care of Merrym any longer, she will be well taken care of.

Children honor your parents, for this pleases the Lord.

Colossians 3:20

Love, Mother Hen Glory

My Perfect One is Unique!

Let's get back on track today. During my college career I had a lot of amazing experiences. In fact, when I look back, that was the favorite season of my life. It was my turf. I learned more than just academics. I learned; who I was, how to deal with this harsh world and just keep going, how to cope with the stress of my disabilities, and how God wanted to use me as His witness.

One professor in particular was very popular among the psychology students. He is considered 'Mr. Cool'. It seemed no one could rattle his cage, he had counseled some really abnormal behavior cases. For example he was a consultant on "The Sybil' case. He showed the class pictures of the two of them together.

I took him for abnormal psych, after all he was and still is the resident expert on the subject. The first day he weeded out those who would not make it through his class by walking in the door, swear words flying from his mouth faster than anyone could comprehend them. Then he stood joyously and silently at the front of the room, watching the reactions that swept our faces as we realized what had just happened. After which, he warned us everyday would be very similar, he would not stop swearing even if we went to the president of the school (he has tenure, so they couldn't fire him for anything except maybe murder, without a problem) and if we couldn't handle it to change teachers. He also told us no one has ever been able to shake him up, so we could do our best but it wasn't worth trying.

REMEMBER, don't tell ME I can't do something, because I WILL do the opposite. I tried many different times and ways to fluster him. Nothing seemed to work. One day, I brought hillbilly teeth with me and at the beginning of class I said to him "May I ask an important question in front of the class? I'v been pondering this for a few years and cannot figure out the answer. I'm positive you can help." Flattered, his chest puffed out and he answered, "Why certainly!"

Seriously I said, "Well, about two years ago I entered a dentistry school and specialized in making dentures. No matter how hard I tried I never received a passing grade. Finally the staff got together, asked me to leave and never speak of this to anyone. I just don't understand! Can you help me figure out the reason?" Then I bent my head down, stuck those silly teeth in my mouth, flipped my head back up and gave a really big smile to him, then the class.

He sat there stunned and speechless yet smiling, while a roar raucous laughter resounded through the room. When he finally got control of himself enough to be able to talk he said, "Congratulations Merrym! You have done what no one has ever been able to. Chalk one up for the funniest person I've had the pleasure of knowing."

When the next semester came he asked to be my advisor and I did a one-on-one class with him. He asked me what topic I was really interested in? My answer and the topic of our class was Munchhausen-by-proxy. Also he would pull me into his classes every time he could, to have me do question and answer sessions. Maybe they were just studying me (I am pretty crazy LOL), but I felt important.

We became closer and closer until I graduated. I invited him to the ceremony and he said," I'm going to Italy at that time. I can't make it!" But on graduation day, at the end of the congratulating professors line, stood my advisor 'Mr. Cool'. He gave me a bear hug and said, "I'm sorry! I gotta run and catch my flight to Italy! I postponed my trip to see my friend, the only person to rattle my cage, the very able-bodied Merrym, whom I'm very proud of, graduate! See ya!" And he disappeared into the crowd.

But my dove, my perfect one,is unique, the favorite one who bore her.
Song of Solomon 6:9

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Sermon on the Highway

After Merryck and I fell, Ace was fuming mad, sitting in the back seat, solemn, with his arms crossed tightly in front of him. You could feel his displeasure rise, like the heat of the Vegas desert. He said, "Why do we even try to have fun? Look at all the crap God has put us through! We're never going on a vacation again!"

I answered calmly saying, "Sweetheart, you could look at it negative like that or you can look at it positive like, 'Thank you God for keeping us safe!"

Even though he was behind me and out of my sight, I knew there was a 'What? Are you crazy?' look on his face, which I quickly said, "No! I'm not going loopy on you baby boy." I looked at him in my visor mirror and our eye's locked," Let me explain. Take the first car overheating. God allowed Michelle enough insight to watch the gauges and know we had a problem. Then we pulled off at the exact exit to come across that angel of a truck driver who cooled down the car and taught you what to do if it happened again. Right?" He shook his head slightly.

I went on, "Which brought us to Vegas, where the head gasket blew. Again you asked 'Why?' Well that car was undependable. Without that happening when it did we could have gotten stranded on that oven of a highway between Vegas and California, definitely ending our trip. Plus God gave you a friend, who was willing to go out of his way and who trusted you enough to use his personal credit card for us to have a dependable car for the length of our trip. True?" He nodded yes a bit more.

I continued,"How many times did we get lost and we seemed to stumble back on the right path? Too numerous to count. Correct? That was no accident. Honey, that was God!" His head started bobbing up and down. A smile came slowly to his lips.

I resumed my sermon, "Last, but not least! Merryck got hurt not once, but twice. We could have ended up finding out what an ER room looks like in CA or Cipio, but it never happened. I believe God kept the baby safe both times. When he fell off the bed, he landed on his back, not his head, on a carpeted floor. Then when we fell together, 'Thank God!' my arm was in between his head and the cement. It could have been worse. Praise Him that it wasn't. Besides no one remembers an uneventful trip. We have an awesome story of God's power, which shows how much He cares for us all. This has been an unforgettable trip!"

Suddenly Ace's whole body language changed, bouncing in his seat, he asked us, "So where are we going to vacation next year?"

Never will I leave you or forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

To LegoLand and Beyond!

On the second day we went to Legoland.

• This was a less hectic day. It wasn't as crowded and the guests had respect for others. Legoland is geared more toward the younger child. I felt the parents here were trying to teach some form of ethics to their children. AMEN! There were many "Excuse Me's?", opening of doors and polite gestures of help, not only to me, but to each other. It was a pleasant day that ended with a visit to the aquarium. Where Merryck fell in love with fish and finally enjoyed some of our trip.

At the beginning of the third day we went to Hollywood Boulevard.

• We had a blast searching the stars on the sidewalk, for particular ones important to someone in our group and quickly took a picture. We tried not to stop in people's way, but if we did most people were cordial. After all that's what everyone was there for and they were very understanding. My cute, flirtatious, grandchildren soon became an added attraction and people begged to get a picture with them. Too funny!

My favorite part of the whole vacation was the second half of that day. We went to Santa Monica Beach.

• Michelle, Colby and Merryck had never been to the ocean. We were all very excited. Those three, to see and experience the majestic beauty of God's wonderful artistry. Ace and I were excited to see this unfold before us.
• When we got within view there were ooh's and awe's from everyone, even Merryck. He's at the point where he loves to copy people.
• I noticed a lot of homeless people and am not judgemental of them. I believe they sense this from me and more than once they went out of their way to talk to me, help me or just catch my attention to send a friendly smile and wave. They did not do this to Ace or Michelle which made me know they were not acting this way for a donation. I felt so accepted by these beautiful, vivacious human beings. They made my day!...
  
  

God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

1 Corinthians 1:27

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Disneyland

Today I'm going to back up a little to the actual vacation, because I skimmed over the vacation part.

The first day we went to Disneyland.

We had a two seated stroller for the boys and my wheelchair to help us get around. We were set. But the closer we got to the entrance the more I could feel an ignorance from other guests towards disabled people. I felt as though when people saw me they went out of their way to be rude. Such as;

• My son, Ace, would be pushing me along at a casual pace and as people noticed, but pretended not to, they would step directly in front of me. Then they'd walk straight at me as though I was invisible and play a game of chicken. We'd be the ones who had to swerve not to crash into them, apologizing as we did. They would then give us a look of' 'You Better Be Sorry!' I felt angry at them and myself, because of this.
• People would jump in front of me and stand there not moving, even when we said "Excuse me!" It was like I was a non-entity, causing me to feel shame.
• Don't get me wrong the Disneyland workers were very accommodating by allowing people in wheelchairs to cut in line every third car or so. Though as we were let on, verbal complaints and crusty looks were given from the able-bodied as they waited ever so impatiently for us to board the rides. Also quite a few returning guests had figured out the trick of renting park wheelchairs to be able to ride quicker. This was apparent when you saw them walking out of the exit (which were very long) with no problems. But the park could do nothing about this without risking a law suit. Some people! GRRRRRRRRRRR!
• Once when I took baby duty (This is when a ride was not baby-friendly and an adult by their own choice would volunteer to take care of Merryck. That way the other adults could ride a ride and enjoy themselves without worrying if he was safe), Merryck was asleep. We parked in the shade and the rest of my party melted into the crowd. Just as they disappeared the baby woke up and wanted a bottle. Screaming at the top of his lungs, I picked him up to sooth him before searching for his bottle. I found it, but just my luck it was empty. Trying to keep both of us calm, I went to work making a bottle for him. With Merryck squirming and my erratic movements I struggled and struggled to fix it. People passed me, staring at us in disgust. No one offered to help, in fact more than a few groups of people stopped right in front of me like I was a freak-show there for their entertainment. I felt sickened by their contempt.

Even with all the mean-spirited stuff that happened, I did enjoy myself very much. I mean I got to spend special time with my son, his family and my awesome wonderful God. He kept reminding me everyone eventually becomes disabled in some way and they will reap what they sow. That and our catch-phrase of 'There but by the grace of God go you!' made my visit more than bearable...

A man reaps what he sows.

Galatians 6:7

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce

Awestruck

The rest of the trip went pretty good. We had a really great time. Then came the morning we were to return and it was time to figure out how we were getting home.

Michelle woke up early to call the car rental office and find out if we could use the car to get home. I on the other hand became anxious and started praying for this to be allowed. After quite a bit of finagling and lots of prayer she got the OK.

We loaded up, heading home with no problems, until we pulled into a gas station to fill our tank and use the restrooms.

On this road were two places to gas up. We chose one and went inside for our bathroom break. I asked the attendant, "Where's your bathrooms?" She answered, "Well, they're over there, but our handicapped restroom does not work. I've worked here ten months and it's been broken since I started. My manager said he's not fixing it. The "Handicapped" (she even did air quotes) people can just roll across the street and use their facilities. I'm sorry!" I was fuming mad as I went and told Ace the story.

He calmed me down, sat the baby on my lap and pushed me to the run-down station on the other side of the road. We had to swerve to miss potholes and we did our business.

Then we headed outside once again trying to miss the potholes, but there were to many that we hit one. This dumped me and Merryck out on the asphalt forward. Ace immediately stopped, grabbed the baby and said."Mom! Are you alright?!" Suddenly tears flowed down his cheeks as he saw blood running down Merryck's chin and started screaming, "He bleeding! My baby's bleeding!"

Walking as fast as she could, Michelle came across the road, scooped the baby from Dad's arms, and cleaned off the baby with a damp rag provided by the attendant. Trying to calm everyone said, "It'll be OK! God protected him! Thank the Lord Mom's arm was in between Merryck and the pavement! He just bit his lip!"

As I was put back in my chair, scrapes and all, I was again 'Awestruck' by what I had just heard and grinned...

My heart is changed within me;

Hosea 11:8

I am blessed

Merrym Dawn Mathis Bruce